A Living Death

Gently down the street
I let the blade take control
How much do I have to bleed?
Until I reach my goal
Death is what I’m getting at
High is what I feel
So many people I’ve hurt in life
Time to let them heal
I’ll say goodbye in a letter
I’ll seal it with a kiss
Tell them to visit my grave each month
And speak of what I miss
My friends can talk about school
And who they took to prom
My sister can speak of crushes
And my father about my mom
Finally my mind is darkening
I feel a weird type shiver
My body’s waving back and forth
Like the flow of a steady river
My eyes I feel wide open
But still nothing is in sight
39Journal out loud
I begin to think and worry
And then I see this light
I hear a deepened voice
Saying look at what you’ve done
I see my body on my bed
Still releasing blood
My moms then at the door
Calling for the meds
I’m just looking down on them
Listening to what is said
Finally they get there
They’re rushing into my place
Putting me on a bed of theirs My death they begin to trace Couldn’t this be over?
Why am I watching myself die
It was enough to feel the pain
But to see my loved ones cry
Burst into the hospital doors
People begin to stare
Could this possibly be I was loved Why was I so un-fair?
To leave my family scared
Wounds around their heart
I wish I was given a second chance
40 Jay and Stormy
I want another start
But wait I don’t deserve one For this is what I chose
My heart begins to beat
And suddenly I arose
There I am lying down
A smile appears on my face
Feeling my family’s love again Again life I taste
I’m surrounded with their hugs
I’m suffocated inside
Although I cannot breathe
This time I do not mind
I was not happy before
But my new life goal is to strive
I’m not perfect and either is home I’m just thankful I’m alive . . . Stormy