Ghosts of lives unlived

I wonder what my life would have been, could have been, and is this what it should have been?

Should I be on the edge of letting go? Yet as I try to fling myself off this cliff my feet claw into the ground beneath me unwilling to let go

The memories of mistakes and the roads not taken

The ghosts of parallel lives haunting me

1. What if I had not left him, had not taken that stupid pill
   
2. What if i had not moved
   
3. What if she had survived
   
4. What if I had stood in school
   
5. What if my family and I had remained together in tough times instead of taking our hurt and casting the others aside
   
6. What if I had stayed
   
7. What if I had not linked my life to him
   
8. What if I had not left that job
   

   Different versions of me circle around and I am not sure who is real