A Message for Family

A message to my family, the people who were meant to protect me.

You FAILED, YES YOU DID!

You never loved me, you never comforted me

Only left me alone in this dark cruel world

Where no one gives a damn not even the ones that claim they do

All they do is beat you up mentally and physically until all that’s left

Is a withering pathetic excuse of a life force.

Not good enough for living, to breathe in the same air as the strong and

unwary.

So, I blame you for everything that has happened to me,

Because you never took the time to take care of me,

You never took the time to ask what I wanted,

What was truly the matter with me.

So go and Fuck Off you ruined us all, I’m just surprised I’m the first.

~Jay

My Burning City

Lying awake with sorrow, fearing those with pity

I’m not trying to escape my home, by name; my Burning City

To cope and then forget, something easily I have learned

Taking all that’s left of me after all of me was burned

Ghost of my past enter with the decaying of my city wall

From the very flame that started this to the ash that ended all

Darkness of my memories, the sorrow of my past

I had fear of losing this but I hope my life burns fast

No more broken promises or the fear of being forgot

I would have thrown my life away if I knew the pain it brought

Now with all I’ve gone through I fear it is too late

Although my surroundings are burning I built too strong a gate

I never should have dealt with this; I should have given up before

But because of the long delay I’ll have to put up with more

No escape or exits to my Burning City I’m condemned

-Stormy

something we got

There's something we got, and I'm not sure what its called 

But oh yea, there is something we got
And it is strong, so strong that melt for you, that there is no such thing as no
And I know, that I should be saying no but when I look at your eyes
And I feel your breath on me, its like you ignite an undying fire in me
My nerves are ablaze with the crude word you whisper to me
And your hands wonder my body, as if it is a canvas that must be examined
So you can pick the right paint and the perfect picture that will adorn me
But I don’t believe you adore me, in fact I don’t believe you love me
And I don’t believe you think this was meant to be
I think you think I am easy, and familiar and
And that all we will ever be, I think you know the words to get me going
And I know, you use this tactic on me and I am stupid enough to let them work on me
But boy don’t think that you are getting over, because I am well aware of whats going on
Oh, don’t worry, I'm not in the mood to stop it. And I am not in the place to quit just yet
And I know I love you, in fact I don’t just  love and adore you, but I have given up everything to be with you
And I saw this future for us, granted i'm just the whore that slinks by uninvited by your momma but you bring me in to stain your sheets
and I know that when its over, you will walk me to the door with some bologna to spill and then deny seeing me but, that’s alright.
I know that in time it will change and I will be the whore you live with and there will be another girl that slinks on by to your mama’s house for you to deny
oh, trust me I know that when that girl comes I will end up in the wind and she will suddenly become your “one and only” 

-Jay

feel it

I feel it in the air
Your hands, your touch, the caress that makes me feel at home
I feel it in the air the way you undress me
Leaving me naked in the middle of the street
And I feel it in the air
The way you love and hate me as if I am the reason this came to be
And I remember what we used to be
The memories taunting, circling me and pluck at each one
Reminiscing on the times we were inseparable
The times you said I was everything,
The times you said I love you and there was no hate in your eyes
No sound of sarcasm dripping from your tongue, and everything was sweet
As a lollipop and a love song,
I feel it in the air, the way you discard me like trash
But then you pull back on me, and I wonder where the line was drawn
What makes you love me then hate me so, to leave me broken and out in the snow
And I have been here for 40 days, and the frost has crept up through my nose and its going down through my veins making cold
And the air speaks to me, it sends me your love messages, it says come, wait a little longer and I will heat you up, you will be safe in my arms and I will rock you to sleep
But then you send the air to hiss at me, like I am some alley cat encroaching on your territory
and I wonder when this all came to be
but I can still feel your love wrap around me, and I can still feel your lips on mine
and I forgive you for sending me into the cold, and I wrap myself in the heat of the intimacy we once shared and I let those memories remind me of what we used to be.

Inside out

he is on the inside and
she is on the inside with him
and i am looking through the window
on the outside,why?
i should be inside, oh i gave it up thats right
but i was a child
doing what children do
and now she is in my place
wrapped in his hands
surrounded by his family
and i scream but the window is sound proof
but i am not proof, my heart breaks
and i refuse to break
so i scream louder
willing the glass to break
so i can take my place!
he turns to see me
he must of heard my muffled screams
but he is looking blindly
the fucking window, must be one sided
like my dreams, one sided
my side! his side! this is my life!
this is my time! and i will fight!
your damn right,
he is on the inside
and she is on the inside with him
wrapped in a cloak of love
his, theirs, hers
and i'm sure it isn't her fault
and i dont blame her for taking my vacated space
but what is this, finders keepers
losers weepers?
he isn't a toy to be had!
he is mine!
he is my first, he is my love
he is my safety, he is my home
and it is not right, that i should be left in the cold
-Jay
or

He is on the inside and
she is on the inside with him
and i, am on the outside, looking in
why? why am i on the outside?
oh, I gave it up thats right
but i was a child, doing what children do
and now she is on the inside
wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his family
in my place, and i scream!
but the window is sound proof
but i am not hurt proof and
i break, but i refuse to break!
so i scream louder, willing the glass to break
so i can take my place!
but it is stronger than me, and my voice cracks
my lips splinter beneath the force of my grimace
as i try to rub my tears into the cracks
he turns toward me, and my heart leaps
he must have heard my muffled screams
but he looks out blindly and i scream
the fucking window is one sided!?
kind of like my dreams, i guess
one sided, my side? his side?
this is my life! this is my time! a
and i will fight! your damn right
he is on the inside, looking out
and she is on the inside with him
and i am on the outside looking in
and just as he begins to turn away
i scream, i scream baby dont go away!
baby dont let our love slip away!
she looks back, guess theres a crack in the window
-Jay

Tell us what you think and which one is better. If you have an idea or are moved to Write i hope you will share your version.

Broken

Hearing the betrayal with my own ears

Something inside broke leaving me in tears

Breaking down so fast I didn't see it coming

But I felt it tear through me, a bullet through my heart

Digressing into basics, not understanding

How a person that was sweet could leave me here standing

All alone not knowing what is up and down

Sitting on my knees I find myself falling

In a dark abyss I hear myself calling

But no one answers just the cold wind coming

Encircling me like a tornado, I find myself torn in pieces

The woman I became lost within herself

Repeating over and over “I’m not a bad girl”

Crawling into the fetal position I clutch myself

Trying to keep the pieces from falling to the floor

Crying till I hit somber I reach up to find a door

Opening it not beneficial for it leads somewhere else

Into the quiet of judgment where I can lay down

Dying slowly inside as each word bounces of these walls

Each one stabbing me deep as I bleed out on this mirror

A reflection of every sin I have ever committed

The mistakes of the past showing in repetition

Until I hear myself “I’m not a bad girl. I did nothing wrong” do I

Finally give up.

-Jay

Miles of Emotion

Miles of emotions

Feelings out of control

My heart continues to wander

While I put my life on hold

The stories I have heard

The messages I receive

It’s hard to tell what’s true

Which ones should I believe?

Whenever I am with you

I don’t know what is real

I cannot comprehend

These feelings that I feel

Am I in love?

I’m getting really confused

Does seeing you make me happy

Or am I just amused

When you’re in my dreams

Is it a message to my heart?

I really don’t understand

This is tearing me apart

A story from my friends

Another from my mind

Now I’m even more confused

The truth I cannot find

I cannot tell what happening

I’m sure it’s for the best

I’m going to let go of this

And let my feelings rest

-Stormy

Pop!

Dreams of grandeur 

Filled with hope 

Told it was only a matter of time. 

 

Smiles, laughter, joy. 

Innocent yet wild, easily forgiven 

With a smile and a grin. 

 

One word: Sorry 

The magic word: Please 

Grin and smile, you got away. 

 

Now the curtains been lifted. 

Welcome to the world 

Open your eyes, open them wide. 

 

Dream a new dream 

That one is a child's dream 

Let go of the past. 

 

Money, success, smarts 

Have power, a way with words 

Everyone plays to your tune. 

 

The players are the same 

The games the same 

The rules have changed. 

 

 

"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" 

Words that foster false hope, false dreams. 

 -N.

deaths warm embrace

 

Locked up with nowhere to go

small and crowded, I see strangers all around me.

Neither of us knowing these few minutes are to be over soon.

 

They shuffle in and out, shouting in a foreign language, these strange tall creatures

My companions start to panic, and they all start to wail.

Suddenly, I am grabbed and taken out.

 

I struggle in the creature’s grip, shouting, hoping for someone to help.

Instead, I see my reflection laced with sadness in my companion’s faces.

There’s poking and prodding of various parts of my body as they inspect me

My vision becomes distorted as I’m turned sideways and upside down.

Two creatures look at me conversing, while one nods his head.

 

Then I am shackled against warmth, encompassing my entire being,

reminding me of my mother and her soft and warm embrace.

 

The cloud of nostalgia breezes over, as I smell blood.

I turn my head and see it everywhere.

Looking up, I see the stranger and not my mother.

It stops and I am laid on a table, and the creature holds me down.

 

My neck, the only moving part of my body struggles furiously

The struggle though is futile.

 In one quick movement it is over.

“Here’s your chicken, Ma’am”  

-N.

 

Classroom

 

Sunlight creeping in from the windows

Illuminating the wooden desks, while filling the empty chairs with a presence

A room once so familiar, now seems foreign

Quiet and serene, but emotions linger in the air

The air is full of tension, but right now it carries the aura of loneliness

The sound of a boring mundane routine is heard

The loud bang from the stapler, as papers are meshed together

The shuffling of folders being opened and stacked

No need for additional voices, no need for opinions

Just the bold black text in the textbooks

For they are bound to the book, not easily erased, not easily strayed

Bound forever in one spot, frozen in time

 -N.

Change

Endless, never-ending, never changing

Everything is the same, nothing is different

Looking into the same day, staring at something obvious

Same people, same attitude, same……. Everything

Change?

Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as change

If there is, are we ready?

Do we want something uncontrollable?

Something not stable, something out of our reach?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

No, I do not think so

We fear; no don’t understand change

Everything should be the same

Same makes us happy and secure

No one prettier than us, stronger than us, or smarter than us

Yet, the world is never under our control

No one is the same

Difference is around us

All we can do is embrace it

Do not let difference scare you, let it empower you

To be different is to be proud

-N

 

I did not sign up for

This is not what I signed up for

This place with its mushy middle,

Curly top, and heart that's cold and vulnerable.

This is not what I signed up for

Bloody wars that leaves this place crippled; red flowing freely down parted lanes.

This is not what I signed up for

The enability to breath as

Others crush into just one of the

More vital parts of this place.

I did not sign on to this body

Riddled with disease

To be ignored and beaten down.

I did not sign on to this body 

With tearful eyes

A mouth that will not stop smiling

While laughter bubbles to the top without end, and the heart below breaks even as it tries to harden itself; as the lungs grasp for just one more breath, and legs buckle 

As a steady stream of blood flows unforgiving to the floor.
This is not what I signed up for

-jay 🌸

                 You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or                           on Facebook: facebook.com/taylorlnwrites                                                                   

Shifting

What was young, now old

Familiar faces, now become strangers

Places that painted a picture, now represent a jigsaw puzzle

The pieces no longer fitting, an image that's blurred

New memories take place of the old

Dig....... dig......... dig........ Dig

Digging is all you can do as you try to remember something once so clear

In the process losing yourself to the past, no sense of reality

Swimming in an endless pool of memories

But you have to come back, back to the reality

The reality of your life

As you move through the days, motion by motion

Seeing and exploring while taking photos and making new movies

Losing yourself to the new experiences, whole chasing old ones

New.......Recent.......

In a world that requires remodeling and shedding of one self

Will you stay true?

Next to me, side by side?

Holding a camera capturing the characters while writing the lines to the story?

Reminding me of things that once mattered, memories that made me smile?

Pull me back to reality, bring me back to the path as I go astray?

Will you stay as others leave?

Will you be my constant in a world of rapid change?

-N

Duality

You say you’re better

You can see, hear, and speak

You can do all three straight from the beginning

That’s great, good for you

Me, well I had to work at them

I couldn’t see so well at first

Let people step all over me, let people take advantage of me

But I could hear

Hear exceptionally well

Heard your lies and whispers 

Heard you turn your back to me, heard you walk away

So I told myself that I would open my eyes

My eyes were wide open, sharp and analytical

Saw right through you, saw your fake emotions

Knew your next move, before you did

My eyes read you like a book

You say I couldn’t talk

Maybe that’s true, or maybe you just assume

Despite not talking, I could see and hear

With those two alone, my actions spoke louder than words

My gratitude or distaste, they could been seen and sensed without any spoken words

So does that mean I never talked?

Hell no!

Opened my mouth and instead of trash, wisdom came out

No hate, no crap, no stupidity

So you say you can see, hear, and speak

Good for you

But let me ask you something

Can you really see?

Can you see the joy on people’s lips or the hurt in ones face?

Can you hear the lie of a friend who say’s they’re ok, when in reality they’re far from it?

Can you hear the message of a conversation, instead of the faults?

And when you speak, is it really you speaking?

Or the person whom people except you to be?

So you say you’re better because you mastered these skills from the beginning

But doesn’t what we see, hear, and speak change over time?

You say you’re better than me

 

                 You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or                           on Facebook: facebook.com/taylorlnwrites                                                                   

Doll House

 

Put on a cute dress, set up in the living room playing, all pinked out with pigtails. 

Passive and quite, neat and orderly the manner in which play time is conducted. 

Boys have cooties, avoid them, guy as a friend then you are both sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 

 

Puberty hits, awkward and lanky, new changes both inside and out. 

Boys no longer have cooties, but approaches are hesitant and calculated. 

Hormones play their roles and the results are awkward encounters and stories. 

 

Parents are avoided like the plague, a disease in which interaction of any kind is not warranted.

The guessing game begins" he likes you" "she was staring at you"

The little cliques are formed “hot and not hot", self esteems being crushed with labels and images.

 

Slut, hoe, tease, play thing, friend with benefits, hook up

The roles set up by our environment and the expectations that come with them.

 

Yet the dichotomy of those roles: some part vixen yet pure all at the same time.

Should be both, but dabble in either and people will jump to one extreme or the other.

 

What happened to the doll in the kitchen, the mommy with the kids and the husband?

Did she grow up?

No she was left behind, behind in the world of fantasy and pretend.

-N.

                 You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or                           on Facebook: facebook.com/taylorlnwrites                                                                   

Do you really know anything at all?

“My” Problem: Dark skinned and Indian.

“The” Solution: You will have to prove your worth.

 

Scenario

Don’t spend too much time in the sun.

Use Fair and Lovely, it will help your skin glow.

Try this lipstick, this powder: you will look pretty.

 

Your hair is oily. Do all Indians have oily hair?

You smell Indian, you know like curry. Do you also worship a cow? 

Say something in Indian. Were you born here?

 

You must be good in math. 

You are going to a science college.

You will be pre-med. 

 

Your parents must be super strict.

You [Indians] guys study a lot.

I know about that, I watch Bollywood movies.

 

“People’s” Solution: Mold me into the assumptions you have.

My answer: I’m not clay that can be molded to your wishes.

 

I’m an unfinished piece of artwork that’s not limited to the boundaries you put on me. The worlds my canvas, not your tunneled vision of a brief glimpse of me.

-N.

She is what I love about writers, artist. She has something to say and she says it. 

     You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or on  Facebook: facebook.com/taylorlnwrites

love you, No Love you more

"Love you", "No, love you more"

Lies we tell ourselves, each other

Lies to stay close 

Lies to stay apart

Who do you truly love?

The girl down the street.

The girl on your phone.

Who do I love?

The man who fathered my child.

The man whose heart I broke.

Do we truly love eachother ?

Like we love our children.

Like we love our mothers.

"Love you", "No, love you more"

~Jay 🌸

     You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or on Facebook facebook.com/taylorlnwrites

Love exhausted me

                 You can find more of her work on Instagram @taylorln_writes or                           on Facebook: facebook.com/taylorlnwrites                                                                   

I am so happy I was able to start following this young woman's instagram and convince her to allow me to post a few of her indescribable works of art that I am now in love with! so, these next 6 days come back and see more of her stuff as well as, look her up! her links are in the caption below the picture!!!

RagDoll

Rag doll girl, ready to please 

No need for a backbone

When your only around to appease 

You stand for nothing 

and lay for everyone.

Lay down as a rug

Lay down to be a punching bag

Lay down to listen, quietly to lies

Lay down and let them take a ride.

Rag doll girl, ready to please

You need a backbone so,

You can have your happy ending

Stand for yourself 

and let them all see

Your worth more than THEIR pleasure.

~Jay 🌸

Peacock in the city

The other day I found my self in the city with my boss learning about its history. We decide to stop by the bird hospital only to be greeted by Jim the handsom Peacock. He was very entertaining with his little show. I only wish I could have seen his beautiful tail which seemed to be atleast 2 feet long.

Statue life

            Ala Zinger the extraordinaire 

Reflective waters

                Painting by Ala Zinger

I truly wish I was in that painting relaxing by the beautiful water.

Just a Stroll

                  By: Ala Zinger

            Happy Mothers Day Ala!!! 

Handling the heat

Beautiful day

                    By: Ala Zinger

                Extraordinary Artist

Just another day

     Painted by the fabulous Ala Zinger

             May she rest in peace

An Ala Zinger painting

         This picture is just ... Wow!!!

               By:  Ala Zinger 

A Russian treat: Ala Zinger

         I am luck that My boss allowed me    

           to photograph this painting. 

Part one:Life - "I shall not live in vain"

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain; 

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help a fainting robin

Unto his best again,

I shall not live in vail.

~Emily Dickinson

      

   I thought tonight I would put up the poem that originally made me interested in poetry. A poem that spoke to me and who I wanted to be. A person to help others. 

Excerpt from DARKNESS pt 2

“Yea, I know but I don’t care he makes me feel good and he loves me I know he does and I love him. He makes me feel safe.”

“Then go but don’t come back with him.” Turning Mathew dropped a present onto the floor and said “That’s why we asked you here.” Picking it up I looked inside and saw a ring, a band that was engraved with the words Ortiz family. I had seen the boys wear a ring, a big fat ring that said it on the out side with the Puerto Rican flag but, I never thought they would give one to me. Turning I went back to the table and quietly asked Sebastian to leave. Walking back over to the counter I said

“This doesn't mean I’m not going to be with him it just means blood is blood.”

Sitting back down the three of us enjoy our meal and talk about school and work. At all coast avoiding what happened earlier and all talk of Sebastian not out of shame but, for the sake of our family.